My husband plays co-ed softball. At one of his last games, he ran into a woman we had known as part of a family from our kids' grade school days. Our children stopped playing together and we stopped doing stuff with them. When he ran into Dianna, he asked about her family and she let him know that she and her husband were divorcing.
He related the story to me when he got home. "What is it with these women?", he asked me exasperated. He meant that they get to around 50 and they divorce their husbands.
I could have told him in so much detail. We get tired of being the ones doing it all. Working, cleaning, exercising while they tell us how busy they are. And give us advice on how to do things. My husband thinks he is one of the enlightened ones who does his share around the house. Maybe I do a little more.
One weekend, we had a snowstorm, so the three of us were stuck at home. I cleaned the kitchen and put a soup in the crock pot for dinner. I asked my husband to do some vacuuming. He said he would. I cleaned the bathroom and changed the sheets on the bed when he finally got out of it. I asked him again (trying for kindness, not nagging) if he could vacuum. Sometimes he forgets or doesn't hear things I say. He said yes. Snow had piled up outside so I got dressed and shoveled off the 40 steps leading to the house. When I got inside, I got out the vacuum cleaner. My husband finally decided it was time to vacuum. I made dinner, including homemade soda bread and we sat down for it. I cleaned up the kitchen afterward.
I would like to say that this was an isolated incident, but it happens every weekend.
My husband used to tell me that he was too busy with work to help around the house more. That somehow didn't stop him from taking breaks to play video games for hours and watch TV for more hours. I now work at his same company (with the same job title) so I know that he is not busy. He doesn't use that excuse anymore.
Yesterday was another example. By the time, my husband rolled out of bed, I had cleaned the kitchen, the floor and the main bathroom including the cat litter pan. Vacuuming never got done. Later in the day, I went to the grocery store alone (as usual) with a list of items that he and my son demanded. They "helped" me get the seven bags up the 40 steps to the house, but my husband disappeared as soon as that was done. My son helped put things away and nibble. Then I started dinner. Alone. My husband and son had ordered me to get fish for them so I put that in the oven for them as well. My husband stayed in the kitchen long enough to tell me what pan I should be using to make dinner. They were "busy" in another part of the house. I finished making dinner, starting the dishwasher, and tidying up dishes. No one came back to the kitchen. I ate my dinner alone and put away my leftovers. When I went to my room, furious, my son looked up from his computer and asked if dinner was ready. I didn't say anything. Since the dishes were clean in the dishwasher, they stacked theirs next to it. They had to get to their current TV show and left the dishes for me to do when I get home from work tonight.
What woman wouldn't want that life? What is it with these women leaving their husbands?
