Thursday, January 3, 2013

New Year: Happiness Experiment


3 January 2013


In 2012, I decided that I battle depression.  I read an article on CNN about a woman that determined that she was depressed and so many of her examples seemed like things that I deal with.


There are too many days when I wake up sad and go through the entire day that way with very few things that cheer me up.  Some days, I cry through a lot of the day.

I don’t want medication. There have been few studies that show that medication actually works better than a placebo.  I don’t think I have chronic depression.  I don’t stay in bed all day or miss work or parts of life due to depression.  I’m just sad and angry too much of the time. I generally get past the worst sadness in a day or so. 

I was comfort eating for a long time ( I was binging), but I made the choice to stop eating added sugar and the binging has subsided and the self-hatred due to the binging is gone too.

For 2013, I am going to make the choice to be happy. 

I am lucky.  I have had times when I feel utterly at peace with who I am and with my place in the world.  This generally happens on a bike ride, a run or a hike.  That is when I know what ultimate happiness feels like.   I can return to those feelings when I need to.  I also can often find those feelings when I need to. I am also happy being social.  Just being around people improves my mood. 


One of my friends posted a meme on Facebook that said “Be someone that makes you happy”.  I think that may be the key to my happiness.  In December, I flew to Tucson for a half-marathon.  During that entire weekend, I was happy because the person that I felt like was a care-free adventurer, a strong woman that could run 13 miles in the desert and hang out with friends in the sunshine by the pool drinking margaritas afterwards.  When I returned home, I was late picking up my son after school.  It was cold and dark. We were both mad at each other.  Right then, the person I felt like I was was a poor excuse for a mother.  I felt like nothing more than his chauffeur and maid.  I don’t like being the maid. The happy adventurer was gone.  I started crying.


My marriage isn’t good.  But I am not defined by my marriage. I am me and I have to find my own happiness.  Perhaps in doing so, my marriage might improve. 

I don’t necessarily know how to choose to be happy.  But I can try to be grateful for who I am and what I have.  I can work on seeing myself as successful instead of failure.  I can recognize times when  I struggle with how I see myself and just work on little things that will get me past them.  I can make sure that I take care of and be kind to myself.  I can recognize the big and little things that make me happy or at least contented.

Let the happiness experiment begin!

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